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DOES DIVORCE MAKE PEOPLE
HAPPY?
Press Release
Embargoed Until July 11, 2002, 10:00 AM EST
Contact:
Mary Schwarz,
T. (212) 246-3942
Major New Study:
Does Divorce Make People Happy?
Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages
Call it the "divorce assumption." Most people assume that a person
stuck in a bad marriage has two choices: stay married and miserable or
get a divorce and become happier.1
But now come the findings from the first scholarly study ever to test
that assumption, and these findings challenge conventional wisdom.
Conducted by a team of leading family scholars headed by University of
Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, the study found no evidence that
unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than
unhappily married people who stayed married.
Even more dramatically, the researchers also found that two-thirds of
unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their
marriages were happy five years later. In addition, the most unhappy
marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated
their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided
divorce were happily married five years later.2
The research team used data collected by the National Survey of Family
and Households, a nationally representative survey that extensively
measures personal and marital happiness. Out of 5,232 married adults
interviewed in the late Eighties, 645 reported being unhappily married.
Five years later, these same adults were interviewed again. Some had
divorced or separated and some had stayed married.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced
were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when
rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being.
Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise
self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. This was true even after
controlling for race, age, gender, and income. Even unhappy spouses who
had divorced and remarried were no happier on average than those who
stayed married. "Staying married is not just for the childrens' sake.
Some divorce is necessary, but results like these suggest the benefits
of divorce have been oversold," says Linda J. Waite.
Why doesn't divorce typically make adults happier? The authors of the
study suggest that while eliminating some stresses and sources of
potential harm, divorce may create others as well. The decision to
divorce sets in motion a large number of processes and events over which
an individual has little control that are likely to deeply affect his or
her emotional well-being. These include the response of one's spouse to
divorce; the reactions of children; potential disappointments and
aggravation in custody, child support, and visitation orders; new
financial or health stresses for one or both parents; and new
relationships or marriages.
The team of family experts that conducted the study included Linda J.
Waite, Lucy Flower Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago
and coauthor of The Case for Marriage; Don Browning, Professor Emeritus
of the University of Chicago Divinity School; William J. Doherty,
Professor of Family Social Science and Director of the Marriage and
Family Therapy program at the University of Minnesota; Maggie Gallagher,
affiliate scholar at the Institute for American Values and coauthor of
The Case for
Marriage;
Ye Luo, a research associate at the Sloan Center on Parents, Children
and Work at the University of Chicago; and Scott Stanley, Co-Director of
the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver.
Marital Turnarounds: How Do Unhappy Marriages Get Happier?
To follow up on the dramatic findings that two-thirds of unhappy
marriages had become happy five years later, the researchers also
conducted focus group interviews with 55 formerly unhappy husbands and
wives who had turned their marriages around. They found that many
currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital
unhappiness, often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism,
infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and
work reversals.
Why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not? Spouses'
stories of how their marriages got happier fell into three broad
headings: the marital endurance ethic, the marital work ethic, and the
personal happiness ethic.
- In the
marital endurance ethic, the most common story couples reported to
researchers, marriages got happier not because partners resolved
problems, but because they stubbornly outlasted them. With the
passage of time, these spouses said, many sources of conflict and
distress eased: financial problems, job reversals, depression, child
problems, even infidelity.
- In the
marital work ethic, spouses told stories of actively working to
solve problems, change behavior, or improve communication. When the
problem was solved, the marriage got happier. Strategies for
improving marriages mentioned by spouses ranged from arranging dates
or other ways to more time together, enlisting the help and advice
of relatives or in-laws, to consulting clergy or secular counselors,
to threatening divorce and consulting divorce attorneys.
- Finally,
in the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to
change that much. Instead married people in these accounts told
stories of finding alternative ways to improve their own happiness
and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage.
The
Powerful Effects of Commitment
Spouses interviewed in the focus groups whose marriages had turned
around generally had a low opinion of the benefits of divorce, as well
as friends and family members who supported the importance of staying
married. Because of their intense commitment to their marriages, these
couples invested great effort in enduring or overcoming problems in
their relationships, they minimized the importance of difficulties they
couldn't resolve, and they actively worked to belittle the
attractiveness of alternatives.
The study's findings are consistent with other research demonstrating
the powerful effects of marital commitment on marital happiness. A
strong commitment to marriage as an institution, and a powerful
reluctance to divorce, do not merely keep unhappily married people
locked in misery together. They also help couples form happier bonds. To
avoid divorce, many assume, marriages must become happier. But it is at
least equally true that in order to get happier, unhappy couples or
spouses must first avoid divorce. "In most cases, a strong commitment to
staying married not only helps couples avoid divorce, it helps more
couples achieve a happier marriage," notes research team member Scott
Stanley.
Would most unhappy spouses who divorced have ended up happily married if
they had stuck with their marriages?
The researchers who conduced the study cannot say for sure whether
unhappy spouses who divorced would have become happy had they stayed
with their marriages. In most respects, unhappy spouses who divorced and
unhappy spouses who stayed married looked more similar than different
(before the divorce) in terms of their psychological adjustment and
family background. While unhappy spouses who divorced were on average
younger, had lower household incomes, were more likely to be employed or
to have children in the home, these differences were typically not
large.
Were the marriages that ended in divorce much worse than those that did
not? There is some evidence for this point of view. Unhappy spouses who
divorced reported more conflict and were about twice as likely to report
violence in their marriage than unhappy spouses who stayed married.
However, marital violence occurred in only a minority of unhappy
marriages: 21 percent of unhappy spouses who divorced reported
husband-to-wife violence, compared to nine percent of unhappy spouses
who stayed married.
On the other hand, if only the worst marriages ended up in divorce, one
would expect divorce to be associated with important psychological
benefits. Instead, researchers found that unhappily married adults who
divorced were no more likely to report emotional and psychological
improvements than those who stayed married. In addition, the most
unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those
who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who
avoided divorce were happily married five years later.
More research is needed to establish under what circumstances divorce
improves or lessens adult well-being, as well as what kinds of unhappy
marriages are most or least likely to improve if divorce is avoided.
Other Findings
Other findings of the study based on the National Survey Data are:
- The vast
majority of divorces (74 percent) took place to adults who had been
happily married when first studied five years earlier. In this
group, divorce was associated with dramatic declines in happiness
and psychological well-being compared to those who stayed married.
- Unhappy
marriages are less common than unhappy spouses; three out of four
unhappily married adults are married to someone who is happy with
the marriage.
- Staying
married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent
relationships. Eighty-six percent of unhappily married adults
reported no violence in their relationship (including 77 percent of
unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated). Ninety-three
percent of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce reported no violence
in their marriage five years later.
Endnotes
1. Examples of the "divorce assumption:" In a review of Cutting
Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well by Ashton
Applewhite in Kirkus Reviews, the reviewer writes that "if Applewhite's
figures are correct, three-fourths of today's divorces are initiated by
women, and if her analysis of the situation is correct, they are better
off, at least psychologically, for having taken the big step." The
book's publisher describes the book this way: "Cutting Loose introduces
50 women . . . who have thrived after initiating their own divorces. . .
. [T]heir lives improved immeasurably, and their self-esteem soared."
In an oped in the New York Times, Katha Pollit asks, "The real
question . . . [is] which is better, a miserable two-parent home, with
lots of fighting and shouting and frozen silences and tears, or a
one-parent home (or a pair of one-parent homes) without those things"
(June 27, 1997). In a review of The Good Divorce by Constance R.
Ahrons in Booklist, we are told that Ms. Ahrons "offers advice
and explanations to troubled couples for whom 'staying together for the
sake of the children' is not a healthy or viable option."
2. Spouses were asked to rate their overall marital happiness on a
7-point scale, with 1 being the least happy and 7 the most happy. Those
who rated their marriage as a 1 or 2 were considered to be very unhappy
in their marriages. Almost 8 out of 10 adults who rated their marriage
as a 1 or 2 gave that same marriage a 5 or more when asked to rate their
marriage five years later.
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Does
Divorce Make People Happy?